Arty Goes to Hippie School
by Something Or Other Productions
Summary: When Artemis decides that he wants to go to school in America he never could have been prepared for what he found. He not only befriended a tree and the daughter of a love goddess but he learned something interesting about himself too.
1. My best friend is a Fashionista

Disclaimer: We do not own any part of Artemis Fowl or Percy Jackson. We do, however, own both Willow and Dina, SO DON'T STEAL THEM!!!!!

And just to be clear, Willow (Willow Isabel) is a dryad who is acting as a protector because of a lack of satyrs and Dina (Celandine Vivienne Felsing) is a daughter of Aphrodite who doesn't know she is a demigod. If you have any other questions feel free to PM us.

Chapter 1:

I woke up this morning to see my beautiful mini willow tree blossoming in a pot beside my head. It was a warm, sunny March morning, a rare occurrence in Pacific Grove, CA. I decided to dress slightly nicer than my usual dryad's attire of green tunics, as Grover had told me there was to be a new undetermined half blood at my school today.

I considered calling Dina and telling her to dress up but then I remembered that my "fancy" is her "normal".

When I got out of the shower I put on a pair of brown flare jeans, a long dark green shirt with a gold empire waist and gold flats. Then I braided freshly washed, thick, waist length auburn hair with a couple of strands of gold and green.

I walked downstairs and decided that I would just eat at Dina's house. I yelled goodbye to my "parents" and walked the block to Dina's house.

"Hi dad," I said to her dad as I walked inside. I call him Dad because he is really like my dad. I spend so much time at Dina's house and I never had a real father, so it was a perfect match. I kissed him on the cheek and went over to the fridge. There I grabbed a container of yogurt and dropped a couple scoops of granola in it.

"Where's Dina?" I asked as I ate my breakfast.

"She's upstairs, still getting ready. Teenage girls, You can't stand them but you couldn't live without them."

"Hey, I take that as a personal Insult," I said, gently rapping him on the skull as I walked over to the stairs.

"Dina, c'mon we need to leave!" I yelled up to her.

"I can't," she yelled back, "I'm not ready!" Ugh, she could get really irritating.

"You've got ten minutes or I'm leaving without you." It was an empty threat and we both knew it. As I sat down at the table to wait I couldn't help but be jealous and a little angry at her. She had it all, a wonderful dad, popularity, her perfect mother, Aphrodite, she was beautiful, and she was still a selfish, conceited brat sometimes.

I've never had much my whole life. I've never had a family, I've always been shunned, I'm really short, and no one never really accepted me. And she still has the guts to act like a brat. Most of the time I love her to bits but sometimes she gets on my last nerve.

"OK, I'm ready to go," Dina said as she walked down the stairs, pulling me out of my reverie.

"You look great sweetie but aren't you going to eat?" Ooh, bad decision dad. I could already tell she was having one of her "super model" days.

"Don't worry, she'll eat on the way there." I said as I pulled the already protesting Dina out the door.

"Bye dad!" we yelled, just as we always do, right as I closed the door. I prepared myself for the long walk to school that always accompanies her "super model" days.

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Did you like it? We know this chappie is kinda short but we should have the next one up in no time. Remember- Reviews=Happy Authors=Chapters faster!


	2. I sleep in a cage!

Disclaimer: We do not own any part of Percy Jackson or Artemis Fowl. Now, on with the story!

Celandine (Dina)'s POV

I felt like a bitch and Willabel knew it. I was not eating. I just wasn't. This was, not only, my "time of month" but also my days when I feel like I ate waaaay to much the day before. At least I looked awesome.

"Dina…I did tell your dad that you would eat…"

"Just forget it, Willow."

"Eat the damn apple, Dina."

"No."

I crossed my arms and gave her THE LOOK. THE LOOK was a mixture of hatred and bratty, all in one delicious death glare. She grabbed my arm and stuffed something starchy and caloric in my mouth. It tasted like a…a…CROSSIANT! Oh, she is soooo dead. She knows I seriously dislike overly caloric buttery things on my days. I prefer bagels. I nearly spat it out, but there was something different about the taste…Oh, no. Not them. Not the Café Fina Chocolate Croissants. Not the ones I ABSOLUTLEY LIVE FOR!!! Needless to say, it was gone in about two seconds.

"You told me it was an apple!" I whined.

"It was but then I realized that there was no way you would eat anything but something you lived for." She knows me way too well.

"Yay! We're nearly there!"

There was Monterey Bay Charter School, home of the MBCS Gnomes. Also home of the Bestest teacher in the entire world: Ms. Clarke, more commonly known as Clarkie or Clarkizzle fershizzle. As I walked into the classroom, a hush went over the usually insanely loud seventh graders. Yes, this was the third time we were late this week. Who cares?

"So, would one of you young ladies like to tell us why you are late?" I cleared my throat.

"Well, uhm, my dad lost the keys to the cage I sleep in, and it took him a full twenty minutes to find it, and another twenty to get ready for school, and fifteen to get here." She raised her eyebrows as eighty percent of the class burst into laughter.

"What she means to say is that she spent forty minutes doing her hair." Willow said.

I gave her THE LOOK.

"What I mean to say is that I spend eight hours a day in a cage."

"Ladies, just sit down."

"Shall happen, Clarkie!" we said in unison then sat down.

"Oh! Dina, Willow, this is our new student, Artemis." Clarkie said, smiling.

I expected to see a girl when I looked over but instead, I saw an extremely pale boy with black hair and an evil smirk.


	3. The know it all new kid

Disclaimer: We are neither Eoin Colfer nor are we Rick Riordan and obviously, we do not own any part of them or their works.

Willow's POV:

As we took our seats right next to each other I couldn't help but stare at the raven haired boy sitting on Dina's other side. He had this odd look about him, like he knew everything and we were all just second best. I wonder who his godly parent is. I was so buried in my thoughts that I didn't realize anyone was talking to me until Dina screamed in my ear.

"Willabel!!! Wake up!!"

"Huh? What happened? Grover? Percy?" I reached for my forearm to find my knife wasn't there. Wait, why is everyone laughing? Oh, I'm not at camp. Crap, did I say that out loud? I hope Dina didn't hear me and I hope she doesn't ask who Grover and Percy are.

"Dina would you please not yell like that in the future? And Willow, would you please keep your mind on _this_ planet?" She was referring to my regular visits to la la land.

"Yes Clarke, we promise." Dina and I said in unison.

"So, Willow, can you please tell me the chemical signature of calcium carbonate?" We were studying chemistry, can you say easy?

"CaCO3." I automatically answered.

"And Dina, can you tell me where we find calcium carbonate?"

"Marble and limestone." She forgot chalk and sea shells! I thought we studied this one!

"It's also found in chalk and sea shells, among other thing." Who said that? Artemis? So he his smart. I wonder how he knew that. Maybe he covered that at his last school.

"That's right Artemis. How did you know that?" asked Clarke.

Well," he answered, "I've already received a PHD and have the highest registered IQ in Europe. I have attended a private boarding school in Ireland since kindergarten. Many psychiatrists have tried to dissect my mind but they have all failed. Would you like to be the next to fail?" Clarke looked taken aback, not only by the length of this speech but also at the information it had contained.

"Well, OK. Would you like to be moved up to a higher grade?" Clarke asked.

"No, I am under strict orders from my mother to interact with children my age. Also, she wants me to work on my creativity. She says I don't do enough art. If only she knew." He had a smug smile on his face. I wonder what he was talking about?

"Alright, well why Emily, could you grab Artemis a new main lesson book? Artemis, a main lesson book is basically a fancy notebook that we use to create our own text books. You will have to copy everything we do in class into it and decora…"

"I know what they are thank you. I did a lot of research on Waldorf schools before I came here." Dina was glaring at him like a serial killer. I wonder if she really doesn't like him or if this is just the pessimism that accompanies her "super model" days.

"Is this kid real or his he a prank?" Dina whispered to me. I couldn't tell her the truth, that he was really a demigod, so I just said, "Maybe, I don't know."

I was so distracted that I spent the rest of main lesson in my own personal la la land. I'll have to ask Emily or Sophie for the notes at snack. Dina doesn't take them anyway.

Dina and I walked over to our bags and pulled out our snacks. Or rather, I pulled out snacks for both of us, acorn pancakes for me, sent from one of my dryad friends back at Camp Half Blood, and a banana and a croissant for Dina. I wonder how I'm gonna get her to eat this time.

"Willow, I want to go talk to Artemis, OK? And I am NOT eating that. You already stuffed one of those buttery nightmares down my throat today," she said, looking at the croissant in my hand.

"OK, I'll come to, I want to be friends with him! And just so you know, your gonna eat, whether you like it or not.. " She glared at me and we walked over to Artemis who was already looking at us with a bemused smile.


	4. Dina actually SPRINTS?

**Hey! If you are reading this, that means that you don't hate our work. Awesome! Anyway, its disclaimer time! We do not own Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, Barbies, or EBay. Or magical flying pixie horses, but hey, that's life.**

Dina's POV

"Hey! Newbie!" The annoying know it all with the doctorate raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Celandine? Or do you prefer Dina?" I gave him THE LOOK.

"Dina, if you please. And how do you know my full name?" I disliked him before, but I hated him now. Who does he think he is? Coming here and messing my perfect life up? Okay, my life isn't perfect; I'm not a Barbie (Thank God!)!

"Oh, I purchased a few yearbooks on EBay. Evidently, you've been here since kindergarten."

"Right…" This guy was really creeping me out. He's like…a criminal mastermind or something… I looked at Willow and uhm… wow, half of the seventh grade. They are really light on their feet for clumsy adolescents. Willow opened her mouth. Oh, great.

"Hi Artemis! Or do you like Arty? I think I'll call you Arty. Wow, are you wearing a suit? My dad wears suits when he goes on business trips!" She said this all very quickly.

"Willow, we're leaving."

"But I'm making friends with the newbie!" she whined.

"Well, I don't think he wants friends. Right, newbie?" The annoying kid (fine, Artemis) just looked at me strangely. Willow looked pleased with herself. Oh no. She's going to try to get me to eat again.

"Well, we can leave, you need to eat anyway."

I attempted to make a dignified exit. I even smoothed out my lovely violet blouse, fluffed my red-brown hair and straightened my necklace. Why, at that moment, did my reading buddy from the first grade (cute as she is) choose to come jump on me, knock me over, and make me look like a total idiot in front of the guy I just decided I hated?

Life was beautiful.

"Hey! Dina!"

I turned to see Willow running after me. I sprinted (which is not something I do often for the record) to our meeting spot, otherwise known as 'The Stump'. She caught up with me quickly and stopped me.

"Dina…"

"Willow, I don't care if he's a new kid. I've known him for about five minutes and he already annoys me more than Liam."

"Okay, I'm not saying you have to like him. Just please don't be rude to him? You know how I felt during fourth grade. Now, please eat something." When I wince, she grins because she knows she's getting her way. I take the banana she held out to me and stomped off to pout.

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**Something or Other Productions**


	5. We flip the genius off

Chapter 5

Willow's POV

I watched at first as Dina walked away. Oh the joy of friendship. Eventually I got sick of watching and chased after her.

Once I had caught up to where she had sat down at the edge of the woods, not in the willow tree I would have preferred but I was friends with dryad of this tree too, I remembered that I had put my Polly Pocket girl and one of her more hideous dresses into my pocket. See, I do have some resemblance of a fashion sense. I put the yellow dress with brown spots and a gold belt onto Polly and then had a brilliant idea. It was based upon a show I had seen last night.

"Twilla," I said, picking up an oak twig and wrapping a leaf around it, "your rendition of the Walmart commercial was fabulous and that photo shoot? You totally pulled of the "au natural" look. You are still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model." I jumped "Twilla" up and down a few times before dropping her to the ground. Next I rounded on Polly.

"Polly, I must say that I am very disappointed in you this week. You stumbled through your commercial and when it was time for your photo? Can I remind you that "Au Natural" does _not_ include about a foot of make up. You are no longer in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model." I made Polly drop her head.

"Pull yourself together girl!!" I screamed at her. "This is another reason you are no longer a part of this show! You are incredibly over dramatic and cry at the slightest thing! See? You're doing it now!" I "slapped" her across the face with one finger for effect.

"Now," I said to Polly, a little more calmly, "Please hand in your stand. Now get out of here!" I yelled. I shoved Polly to the side. Then I beckoned to the still pouting Dina.

She scooted over and I put my hand around the ear closest to me and whispered, "I just fired Polly Pocket from America's Next Top Model." Then I scooted away.

I beckoned again, "I told her to return her stand." I slid away.

I beckoned a third time, "She cried so I slapped her." I whispered. "America's Next Top Model cannot be a wussy! Alright?" I all but yelled into Dina's ear.

I noticed Arty looking at us from about 20 feet away. Apparently he had seen the whole thing. Good, maybe now he would accept my madness. I saw Dina was looking at him to and in the split second we looked at each other, I knew we were thinking the same thing. '1.....2….. 3!' I counted in my head.

After realizing what we had done he got a shocked, funny look on his face. Then he turned around and ran back towards the school. A couple minutes later Clarke came over and asked us to come up to her classroom.

She walked behind her desk, looked at the pair of us, and said in a slightly skeptical, annoyed tone, "The new student Artemis told me that outside at recess you two flipped him off. In unison. Now that doesn't sound like you two but I wanted to check."

"Stupid newbie tattle tale." I heard Dina mutter under her breath. I realized I was going to have to be the mouth of this operation.

"No, that wasn't us. Maybe he suffers from hallucinations." I said with a completely straight, innocent face. "Maybe you should tell his parents to have him checked."

Clarke could tell that I wasn't telling the truth and I was pretty sure she heard Dina so I was relieved when she said "Alright you two. Just go outside."

We dashed outside and sank to the grass in relief. I noticed Artemis looking at me strangely again and I yelled over to him, "Do you suffer from hallucinations?"

"No," he answered, "Do you? I saw you talking to that _thing_ earlier."

"It's not a thing, its Polly Pocket," Dina replied snappily. "And though they are a little childish, they're better than the things you must play with."

"And while I do sometimes get lost in the world around me, I do not have certifiable hallucinations." I said a little dreamily. There, how's that for smart talk?

The look on his face was _hilarious_, a mix between annoyance and skepticism. But before he could reply the teachers called "Yoo Hoo!," our version on a bell ringing to signal the end of recess.

* * *

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	6. Tickling Soup

**Hello to our beautiful readers! Thanks for, well, reading our story! We love you and reviews are greatly appreciated. Guess what? Today, we have a guest doing our disclaimer! Woo-hoo (a la Homer Simpson!)! **

**Me (Lizzy): XxSquigglySpoochxX! Come on out!**

**Xx: Hai! Lizzy and Maggers do not own Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, or Polly Pockets. Nor do I. Polly Pocket, that is. Or PJO or AF…*pouts***

**Me: uh…well, thanks, Xx. **

The look on Artemis' face was so funny I nearly collapsed into giggles as Willow and I walked into class. As I sat down, I became aware of the multiple pieces of paper hitting my head. I pulled one out of my hair and opened it. It was from my boyfriend of about a year, Wyatt.

_What r u doing after school? Want to meet up at the mall?_

I quickly scribbled a reply:

_Sure, but only if Willow can come…is that kosher?_

As he caught it, I watched his facial expression change. I caught his eye and he nodded in approval. Yay! I grinned at him.

Unfortunately, Clarke noticed our quiet exchange. "Dina, Wyatt, please pay attention to the lesson. You can flirt on your own time." I winked at Wyatt.

"Yes, Clarke!" We said in unison.

I attempted to comb the non-read notes out of my hair and focus on the board at the same time. I tell you, it's quite a challenging exercise. One of them I opened and saw that it was Willow's handwriting.

_Polly Pockets are childish, but they're better than what he plays with?! You have a sick mind…_

I looked at her and she burst into the peals of laughter she had been holding back. Artemis was looking at us strangely yet again and I glared daggers at him. He raised his eyebrows and looked away, yet again. This kid really did kind of freak me out…I shook my thoughts away (something I have been doing a lot lately) and attempted paying attention to Clarke but instead found myself thinking of how I should do my hair tomorrow. Or what I should buy at the mall this afternoon…Ooh, maybe I should get a new pair of shoes…

I was suddenly being shaken awake by Willow.

"Dina, wake up! It's lunch time!"

Wow, I had slept through the entire period and no one noticed!?

"Sorry, okay, I'm awake!" I snapped.

I instinctively fluffed my hair and checked for all around damage.

"Am I okay?"

Willow rolled her eyes.

"Uh, you're gorgeous, as per usual!" I grinned, because this was exactly what I wanted to hear. Now, if I could get ten more people to say the same…

"Earth to Dina? Dina! You've zoned out again!" Willow said in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Gotten enough rest, sleeping beauty?" I turned to face Wyatt.

"Yes, I did thanks." I giggled. He ran a hand through his slightly curly dirty blonde hair. He reminded me of Apollo…he was a good enough poet, anyway...

"Guess what?" He said, bringing me down from my cloud.

"Uhm…what?"

"I wrote you a haiku! Wanna hear it?!" He looked so excited, I couldn't say no.

"Sure!"

He cleared his throat.

"_Dina is my beau_

_She brings sunshine into my_

_Life, I am awesome." _

At that point, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing?!" he said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"I- you- awesome!" I said between snickers.

"Well, I am awesome, so I thought I'd include it."

"Whatever you say, Wy-Wy."

I was suddenly being pulled into a tight hug. While I was being lifted off of my feet and tickled.

"Ow! Ow, let me down!" I shrieked, even though I wasn't hurt at all.

"Not until you admit my haiku is awesome!"

"Okay! Okay, I admit it, your haiku is the epitome of mind-blowingness!"

"Good. Now, let's go get some soup." He set me down and grasped my hand.

"Eh…I think I want a salad today…" I had already consumed waaay too many calories for one morning. Wyatt looked as if he were going to agree, but Willow hastily added,

"Okay…but only if you eat a piece of bread-and-butter with it."

"What?! The injustice! I've already eaten your chocolate croissant today! That has, what, a pound of butter?"

"Okaaay….no salad for you…"

"Fine, I'll eat the stupid bread."

"Heh. I always get my way."

"Humph. Only because you're my best friend."

"Well, duh! It's not like you would always agree with me if I was your worst enemy!"

If only life were always that simple.

**So, yet another chapter successfully written and published! To our faithful readers, reviews are greatly appreciated!!! We love you guys!**


	7. I hate math

**Alright, kids! This here chapter wants y'all to know that we don't own Percy Jackson OR Artemis Fowl. Just so you know. Oh, and this chapter will probably be one of our shortest because of the loooong chapters coming up. **

Dina's POV

The rest of the day really wasn't all that super-speshul. I…actually, kind of blacked out again during handwork. And Spanish. And, let's face it, math. By the end of the day, I felt like I had a shot of espresso. So the walk home wasn't so bad. After dropping Willow off at her place I went home so I could work on the assigned homework. Which I probably had no idea how to do due to my blacking out in good ol' math. Yippie. The minute I looked at it, I caved and decided to call Willow. She answered on the third ring, so she must have been in her room. Excellent.

"Hi, Dina."

"Hey, Willow? Could you help me with math problems number one through- all of them?"

"This is the last time you fall asleep in math class, sister."

"Fine then. Don't love me."

"Whatever. Just multiply the diameter by pi to find the circumference."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Love you, Cela."

"Love you too. And don't call me Cela."

I hung up and flopped on my bed. I then curled up in a little ball and drifted away…


	8. Dodgy Foster Parents  BAD

**A/N: This Chapter is very short but is quite important to the outcome of AGTHS. Also, we apologize for not posting for a while. Posts will be much more frequent now. Also, visit our account and vote for Willows boyfriend. Only three votes so far I think! Enjoy!**

Willow's POV

Chapter 5.

Gods, I'm so glad the weeks over. Dina and Arty have been fighting nonstop and although I love her, let's face it, she can hold a grudge and not be nice about it either. So that was the reason I felt so glad when I woke up this fine Saturday morning. I got out of bed at around 8, late for me, and got ready to go to Dina's.

"I'm going to Dina's," I yelled to my foster parents as I walked out the door.

"Wait Willow, we need to talk to you."

"What is it Lisa, I kinda need to go." Everyone finds it weird that I address my foster parents by their first names. It's just what we've both adjusted to. Neither of us find it weird so we just go with it.

"Well, there's something Peter and I need to talk to you about."

"What?" Why were they being so vague and dodgy?

"Come in here."

They beckoned to the living room and we both sat down.

"Well, we feel…. We feel that it might be time… That it might be time for you to move on. For us both to move on." They shifted around in their chairs, not meeting my eyes.

"What are you saying?"

"Well, as of late we've been feeling that things have been changing, that we've been growing farther and farther apart. We were never very close to begin with and as you've been getting older it's been getting harder. We want to know how you feel about that. Do you agree?"

Lisa has always been a smooth talker. She could make the most unfair news sound like a complete democracy.

"No," I retorted. I can't leave. I just can't. Dina would die. She'd never make it alive without me. Neither would the others. I can't go.

"We don't understand. We know you find this awkward, too."

"Well maybe, but I can't go. I have to stay here. You would be ruining more than one life if you made me go."

"We don't want you to grow up in an environment where you're not totally comfortable. We don't think children should have to be in a place like that."

Uh huh. It's totally about me. _Right. _And they act like its my problem foster homes are horrible. No, actually, that's your problem.

"Well, I'll think about it. Now I'm going to see Dina. Bye."

**It gets better, trust us.**


	9. Adoption?

Willow's POV:

Chapter 6:

I couldn't hold in my tears. I tore out of my house, down the road, and into Dina's house. I just barely made it to her room before I broke down into sobs.

"Willow? What's wrong?" She pulled me towards her and onto her lap. We sat there and I just cried for some time. Fifteen, twenty minutes maybe. All I know is that it took a while for me to calm down enough to be comprehensible.

"Willow hon, can you talk to me? What's wrong?"

The lavender scent of her room was comforting. Right now her house felt more like home than mine did.

"Lisa, Peter. They want… They want me to… They're trying to send me to a new family. To…To get rid of me."

Dina just sat there in shock for a minute. She couldn't believe it either. We couldn't be separated. It mattered more than she knew.

"Willow, I won't let you go. They can't tear us apart. We are going to find some high strength glue and duct tape and forcefully keep you here before we let you go."

Then she got an idea. It was obvious to someone who knew her well because she got this flash in her eyes. Imagine if you had just finished a puzzle and when you put in the last piece there was a giant flash. That was what it looked like when Dina got an idea.

"Stay here Willow. If you feel yourself going there are some smelling salts in my bedside table. Lavender of course." She dashed out of her room and down the stairs. Even in a situation like this I couldn't help but giggle a little. Lavender smelling salts? Please, just please. Only Dina would have smelling salts that matched her room. I could hear her down stairs, talking on the phone to her dad. Her words were muffled, and it must have been something she didn't want me to hear because she has a phone in her room. Speaking of which…

"…trying to kick her out. I can't let it happen Dad. You know how close we are. If she left I would die. Just die."

That being a literal use of the word, not that she knew it.

"Dina, you know I love Willow like a second daughter, but adoption is a big deal. I know you mean well but this plan might just be a little too fantastic."

Hold on a second, adoption? Holy cow! They mean me!

"Dad, Lisa and Peter are horrible. They're cold and far away, just like nearly every other foster family on this planet. I don't know how Willow does it know, she's just so different from them. Warm, bouncy, Willow versus cold foster family. Please Dad, we'd be perfect for her."

She was right. And life wouldn't really be that different from how it is now, I'm nearly family anyway.

"Celandine! Please! I will think about it, but I think your time would be better spent with Willow right now. We'll talk more when we get home, OK?"

"Fine. But do you promise you will think about it?"

"I promise Dina. Now go find that poor girl."

I quickly hung up the phone, only barely making it. She had a bit of a glow in her face, believing her dad would cave. Maybe he would. He would do anything for his daughter.

"So, I have officially decided that you are not leaving my house until we get this whole mess sorted out."

I must have looked horrible with my red puffy eyes but I still cracked a smile.

"Um, Dina, You might want to re think that. I have to go to school and I need clothes to wear. And all of my school stuff is back in my room."

"BRB," she said, running into her closet.

"Hey, when are Lisa and Peter gonna be gone?" She called from her huge walk in closet, nearly three times the size of a normal one.

"I think they were going out to dinner tonight. They should be gone by now."

"Perfect." She hissed, climbing stealthily, or as stealthily as any girl like Dina could, out of her closet, dressed head to toe in black.

"I'm going on a mission."

"Oh joy. And I suppose I'm _not _allowed to come?"

"Correct. Now, keys please?"

"Whatever." I handed over my keys.

"Just don't forget anything. And make sure to grab some good books. Your selection of books here makes me want to have to use those smelling salts." I gestured to the two short rows of books, nearly all of which included the word "hair", "boys" "diary", or "makeup" at least once in the title. Some had two or three, and a few had all four! Blegh. Big time.

"Please, they can hear you!" Dina exclaimed as she walked out the door.

I settled myself down with one of the few 'real' books she owned, _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_, and waited. And waited.


	10. Adopted!

The morning we finally brought Willow into our family was definitely one of my best. She was, for all intensive purposes, already my sister, so it wasn't what the courts said that mattered most to me…it was the fact that we were pretty much stuck together, which didn't sound too bad. I skipped down the steps arm in arm with my sister who was nearly crying. That in itself surprised me, because Willow NEVER cried, not even when my Pomeranian, Jay, died. When she finally spoke I started out of my train of thought.

"Dina?"

"Yes Willabel?'

"Please don't call me that. Just one thing…thanks for letting me stay."

"Dude, who do you think we are? Sociopaths?"

She rolled her eyes but grinned at me.

"Well, I don't know about your dad, but you certainly…"

"Gee, I feel loved."

"You should." She hugged me tightly.

We pulled up to my, our, house. Willow jumped out of the car almost immediately and ran to her new room, in which she had painted long, swaying willow trees against an olive-ish background. It suited her, as my lavender suited me. Her room was almost completely organized, thanks to my slight case of OCD. It came in rather handy at times. I put the last few boxes (Of clothes that I had deemed unwearable, mostly) into her roomy closet. She sighed.

"You know, I really loved those sweatpants…"

"Not happening, babe. We're going shopping this weekend."

"But they're pajamas!"

"Exactly. You need to know acceptable sleepwear."

She made her famous puppy dog eyes and I caved.

"Fine. You get TWO outfits. I'm calling Artemis."

Over the past couple of months (much to my surprise) Artemis, or Arty, had become our friend. That was mostly due to Willow's persistent stalking and cookie baking, which I was very extremely against, for the record. Unfortunately, I'm a huge pushover so darling Willabel finally got my support in Operation: Make Artemis Our Buddy. I trotted upstairs to my lavender-scented room and punched in Artemis' number.

"Hello, you have reached Artemis Fowl. Either I am not available or I'm not feeling like answering the phone. If you are seeking an appointment to negotiate ransom or salary, press one. If you are a stalker, press two. If you are in my eighth grade class (Yes Willow, you too.), press star. Thank you."

"Hey Artemis, its Dina. I just wanted to let you know that Willow is officially my sister! Anyway, I'm throwing a celebration party Sunday and I was wondering if you wanted to come. I'm inviting the whole class, so bring Butler. Spencer loves basking in his manliness, as he will never have any. Give me a call and hopefully I'll see you then! Bye!"

I hung up with a feeling of satisfaction, mostly due to the fact that Daddy had let Willow live with us. And that I was throwing an undeniably awesome party. This one would be even better than the costume party I threw that one time when I hired midgets to dress up like cherubs wearing tuxedos so they could serve us drinks. Ah, good times…

But now, Willow was OURS. And not even a court order could change that.


	11. Gate Crashers

A/N: Sorry that it has been so long since we last updated! Willow went to camp and on vacation but she's back and has written the longest chapter yet! Also, if Willow is your favorite character (and even if she isn't) please check out Willows little side story called "Dear Lily". I would recommend reading it before this chapter because it will make everything a little less confusing.

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Chapter 11

Willow's POV

Conflicted.

That was the word that best describes my emotions right now. On one hand, I was thrilled and totally overjoyed that I was getting to leave the foster care system and live with Dina. Then, on the other hand, I was on the verge of crying because today was the day that I knew I had to tell the half-bloods at my school about themselves.

We only have a few weeks left of 8th grade. The last few precious weeks my three half-bloods have left. Left before their lives change.

But how do I tell them? It's not like you can just come out and say, 'You guys are really children of the Greek gods! Isn't that great? And to boost, there are monsters lined up to kill you!'

No, that won't work.

"Hey Willow, enjoying the party?"

I looked around to see…

"Grover? Percy? Annabeth? What the hell are you doing here?" What on earth? But why is the lord of the wild, the most legendary Protector ever, with shiny hooves and luscious fur, oh, whoa, I take all of that back. So, again, why are Percy, Annabeth and G… G… Grover.

"Hey Willow!" said Annabeth, smiling. She hugged me tight, pulled away and pulled out my knife, still inside its sheath. "You forgot this at camp last time you came. Oh, we missed you so much!" She hugged me again.

" Hey Wills!" Percy wrapped me into some kind of side hug. "Annabeth has been getting very frustrated because the only person who can beat her in a battle on a somewhat consistent basis is gone. And apparently she has also decided that the way she's going to make herself feel better is to just keep kicking my butt."

I ducked out of the hug. Yeah, I guess it is true that I have been able to get a knife to Annabeth's neck a couple of times, but Percy likes to turn that in to some big deal.

"Why are you gate crashing? What's the deal?" I asked them quietly.

"Well, a little bird might have told us that you were going to give us three new half-bloods today. And we wanted to be part of the fun."

"Annabeth, why did you let these two idiots crash this party? I know you know better!"

Uh, oh, here comes Dina.

"Alright, I'll hear it later. For now, scram! Dina can't see you yet."

They dodged into the crowd while Dina, surrounded by her usual posse. This included her seemingly always present boyfriend (and the second of the three halfbloods) Wyatt, her more recent friend Artemis, and the assorted, ever changing wannabes. I stuffed my knife into my pocket and smoothed my shirt.

"Hey, Willabel!" I heard titters from Percy, Annabeth, and Grover who had placed themselves right around the wall of Dina's house. Dina looked around but eventually her eyes returned to my face and she seemed untroubled.

"So, are you enjoying your party? Is it perfect? I know it is!"

"Yeah Dina, it's really great. Hey, can I talk to you guys?"

"Sure." She and her whole posse started walking toward me. I stopped them and signaled to Grover and Co.

"No, just Dina, Artemis, and Wyatt." The followed me around the wall and right up to…

"Whoa, who are these people?" Grover, Percy, and Annabeth were just standing there and Artemis already almost looked on the verge of a total shutdown at the aspect of not understanding what was going on around him. I'm kind of worried about how he's going to stand up to the news.

"Well, this is awkward." Said Dina, "Ummm, Willow, who are these people?"

"Dina, Artemis, Wyatt, I have to tell you guys something. You know how I kind of disappear every vacation? Well, there is a reason for that."

"What are you talking about Willow?" Wyatt looked at me with a kind of fear I've only very rarely witnessed. He stepped in front of Dina with a protective air about him. "Who are these guys?"

"Hi," said Annabeth, stepping forward, "My name is Annabeth. This is Percy and Grover, and we all go to the same camp. I've been living there almost year round since I was seven. Here, Wyatt, do you think you're strong?"

"Well, yeah, at least compared to a girl." Dina kicked him in the shins. Annabeth gave me a questioning look but I motioned for her to continue.

"Alright Wyatt, try to hit me."

"Are you sure?" She just glared at him in response.

"Okay…" This ought to be exciting.

After a second he balled up his fist and swung it at Annabeth's head. She ducked, rolled around him, pulled out her knife and had it at his neck before he could so much as turn around.

"Willow, there is a girl here holding a knife to my neck. Could you please just explain and GET HER OFF OF ME?"

"Alright, Annabeth, fun's over." She let go of him, making sure he fell to the ground as she walked back to Percy.

"Well, Wyatt, you guys aren't normal." All this time Artemis has just been standing in the background, looking on as Wyatt got his butt kicked and Dina screamed.

"Well, Willow, having grown up being my definition of "not normal" I have to ask what your definition of the word is." Oh, Artemis, always being so smart about things.

Grover stepped forward, "Do you guys know what half-bloods, or demigods are?" he inquired.

Artemis replied, "they are the children of a god and a mortal. In Greek mythology specifically they were pictured as heroes."

"Well Arty," Grover said, "You are looking at three more modern heroes right here. He motioned to Percy, Annabeth, and I. I blushed and ducked into Annabeth's shoulder like a small child. Percy and Annabeth, on the other hand, stood their ground. They were used to this.

"Willow, what is he saying? You're not a hero?" Thanks Dina, love you too.

"Not a hero? Have you seen this girl fight? Oh, wait, of course you haven't." Wait, did Grover just compliment me? Annabeth nudged me with a knowing smile as I blushed again.

"Alright, enough of this mumbo jumbo," Percy exclaimed never one to wait, "Dina, Wyatt, Artemis, You are all demigods. You all have 1 Greek god and 1 mortal for parents. You will be coming to Camp Half Blood with us at the end of the summer to train. There you will learn many things that will help you survive. Willow will fill you in on the rest later but right now, Grover, Annabeth and I need to go."

They all hugged me and left the party. A little impromptu but to each it's own.

Dina, Wyatt and Artemis looked at me and I knew I was about to get the questioning of my life.

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Thanks for reading! And remember, review!

Love, Willow

(A.K.A. Something Or Other Productions)


	12. A Feud Begins

Chapter 12

Dina's POV

I blinked, shocked. A nervous giggle escaped my throat and I jumped at the sound. I glanced at my friends. Wyatt looked both embarrassed at the fact that he, the toughest guy in our school, had just been beaten by a girl. Artemis had turned an odd shade of maroon that didn't at all suit him. I cleared my throat.

"So…anyone know who my mom is?"

Willow rolled her eyes.

"Dina, as you haven't been claimed yet, we can't be sure, but we're pretty much positive that you'll be in the Aphrodite cabin, due to your obsessive hair styling and makeup applying."

My eyes widened at the idea of living with people who understood my need for perfection. I loved it immediately.

Wyatt snorted.

"Excellent, my girlfriend has the hottest mom in the universe."

Artemis' color had faded to an angrier shade of scarlet.

"Willow." The word was a statement, not a question.

"Why didn't you tell me? Did you think that I couldn't handle it?"

He was beginning to scare me. He moved towards Willow and I instinctively moved so I was in front of her. That was a bit counterproductive, as she had grown quite a bit over the last few months. She was now six inches taller than me, and I had just learned that she was an evil psychopath on a battlefield.

"Artemis, I had to. There was no other way to keep you safe."

"Safe? _Safe?_ I think I can keep myself safe-

"SHUT UP!" Wyatt bellowed. I buried my head in my hands.

"Wyatt, if you don't mind, I was just explaining to Arty dearest why we- well, you mostly- are in mortal danger right now." Willow was death glaring as Wyatt started trying and failing miserably at yoga breathing.

"Wy-Wy, love, if you're yoga breathing, do it right, please. It makes my heart ache to see loved ones fail at one of the easiest things about being a Dina." I grinned.

Artemis didn't back down.

"Dammit, Willow!"

"Arty, I'm getting to what's going on. Just let me slap Wyatt for yelling at me."

_SMACK._

"Owww!"

"Aw…want me to kiss it better?" I pecked him on the cheek.

Willow and Artemis were getting more and more aggravated with each other. They had migrated gradually inside.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST ANSWER ME!"

"I'LL ANSWER YOU WHEN I WANT TO!"

"HOW ABOUT NOW?"

"NO, I WAS THINKING WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT OVER TEA AND COOKIES!"

"THEY'RE BISCUITS!"

"COOKIES!"

The sound of cheap plastic furniture breaking made me run inside. Willow had tackled Artemis to the ground and was attempting to knock him out. Wyatt ran to separate them which earned him a bloody nose, courtesy of Willow.

"Jesus, Will!" he exclaimed.

"EVERYONE STOP!" I screamed.

Willow stopped mid-punch. Artemis' jaw dropped. Wyatt looked dumbfounded, mainly because Willow had never shown any sign of aggression.

"Ok, why don't we all try some yoga breathing…and here, smell these, Willow. Don't kill anyone." I tossed her my smelling salts. She didn't take them.

Artemis was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on? It is my first time being completely clueless and I must say I hate the feeling."

Willow sighed.

"Ok, but you'd be safer not knowing." She paused before continuing.

"So you know how the Greek gods are real? Well, so are the monsters. And the titans. But they took care of them a few years ago. And you knowing that they exist make you more vulnerable to them."

Wyatt paled.

"So I'm not insane?"

Willow laughed. It was short, humorless.

"No, you're not. None of you are."

"What're you talking about?" I had never seen any of the monsters that Willow was describing.

"Well, since Aphrodite isn't really powerful, it's not really likely that they would be attracted to you. Wyatt, I'm guessing _you're_ a son of Apollo, and Arty, I'm thinking Athena. They're both pretty powerful, so if you two have been seeing stuff it's not your imagination."

"So the only things on the planet not attracted to me are monsters? _That's_ one more thing I don't have to worry about." I was a bit confused, but found it humorous at the same time.

"Don't worry Dina; we don't think of you any less for it." Willow grinned at me. I returned the smile half-heartedly. I was too stressed to be too happy.

"Toss me my salts." Artemis picked them up and chucked them at me. I breathed deeply and decided that maybe this whole thing wouldn't be so stressful after all.

It would get me out of high school, wouldn't it?


	13. Welcome to Paradise

So, after our very prolonged break from fanfiction we present to you the 13th and FINAL chapter of Arty Goes to Hippie School. The sequel, Shiny Happy People, will be posted very soon.

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Chapter 13: Welcome to Paradise

"Welcome to Paradise," I said as I watched Dina, Arty, and Wyatt step carefully past Thalia's Pine, amazement filling their eyes as they saw for the first time what lay beyond.

Coincidentally, there happened to be a game of Capture the Flag going on as we arrived, Athena vs. Poseidon. Right by the creek Annabeth and Percy were dueling, and you could tell Annabeth had the upper hand. I shrieked and pointed at them, cheering on Annabeth as my as my poor newbie friends looked on in shock.

As they battled, Annabeth caught Percy's sword with her knife and shoved him backwards into the creek. I heard Wyatt gasp as Percy climbed out of the creek unharmed, but then he let out a chuckle as Annabeth spun and caught Percy around the neck with her knife,

"Ha! His girlfriends better than him!" exclaimed Wyatt laughing.

"You don't think I'm better than you?" asked Dina, a harsh glare upon her face.

"Well, no duh." Ooh, bad move Wy Wy.

With a terrible look Dina slapped him and I threw in a punch in the stomach for good measure, knocking him to the ground.

Behind me I heard a snickering noise coming from Arty's direction. Dina and I turned around in unison and gave him a dirty look.

"You realize the same could happen to you." I said scathingly.

"Yes, at any time." Dina finished as we slowly walked towards him.

Lucky for Arty, just at that moment Grover lead an arguing Annabeth and Percy up the hill to greet us,

"Oh give it up Seaweed Brain! I'm so better than you!"

"No way, you just got luck… Whoa! Dude, what happened to you?" Percy had spotted Wy Wy who was still sitting on the ground pouting.

"My girlfriend and her friend beat me up," he said in a babyish pouting voice.

"I feel your pain man. My girlfriend almost decapitated me." They bumped fists and grimaced at each other.

"Percy! Annabeth! Grover! Oh my gosh I missed you guys so much!" I ran over and embraced them in a huge group hug.

"Willow! Chill! We saw you like a week ago! Percy hugged me and kissed my head hello.

"Hi Grover," I waved, embarrassed. Dina raised her eyebrows ar me but I shook my head and looked away.

Chiron then galloped up. "Willow! You're back! There are some things we need to discuss up at the Big House." We shared a knowing look and nodded at each other.

"Of course Chiron. Annabeth, Percy, Grover, would you guys mind showing them around?" I motioned to my friends who were still looking at Chiron in awe.

"Sure. See you later!" Annabeth took Dina's hand and motioned for the guys to follow. Dina looked back at me with a questioning look but I waved her off and walked up to the Big House with Chiron, grinning as I thought of what this summer was going to hold.

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And so Ends Arty Goes to Hippie School. We hope you enjoyed it and will review to tell us how great it is. Please look for our sequel but for now, farewell.


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